Category: Joke Board
Humour Banned on the Net
For Immediate Release
Washington DC April 11
Today, the United States Congress passed new legislation related to
the CDA bill. Effective immediately, "no postings of a humorous or
amusing nature may be transmitted electronically via the Internet,
bulletin boards, FAX or any other means of electronic communications."
According to Congressional spokesperson Ima Dredge, "We have
confiscated names from so-called 'joke list maintainers' and those who
post alleged humorous material, or even read alleged humour on
Internet newsgroups."
Ms. Dredge continued, "Idiotic humor has no place in cyberspace; that
is reserved for politicians in Washington. Those clowns have the
audacity to think they have some sort of right to freedom of speech,
without repercussions. The Internet must be returned to the serious,
listless place it once was. We have authorized the military to hunt
down and delete anyone who has posted or read anything that might be
considered funny."
It has been reported throughout the US that military special forces
squads have been conducting raids, dubbed 'Operation NoJoke,'
throughout the day.
General Darth Slader, in charge of 'user delete' operations, admitted,
"Sure, I like a good belly-laugh as much as the next guy, but Congress
says it's illegal now when mixed with computers. So, we've got a job
to do."
The General added, "This is sure a hellofa lot easier than trying to
take out guys with weapons. Just a bunch of computer geeks; like
shooting fish in a barrel. We've developed 'Smart Oriented
Bombs' (SOB) which can be sent through e-mail to suspected jokers; got
the idea from the Unabomber. When they pick up their mail, their modem
explodes, taking out the system, and hopefully the user. Neat, clean
and untraceable."
Local authorities have reported a rash of exploding computers and
military raids. It appears joke-list providers have been especially
hard hit, but more cases of average joke readers are beginning to
surface.
Several renegade jokesters have moved underground and been able to
avoid the military slaughter. You may receive this notice before it's
too late.
DO NOT read any jokes from the Internet! If someone tries to tell you
a joke, just say NO. If someone asks you "Why did the chicken cross
the road?" reply that you don't know -- it's a trick question.
Delete any humorous material from your computer and backups.
Do not laugh, or even smile while sitting at your computer. Remember,
there may be an SOB with your name on it.
well, this made me laugh and I havn't gotten blown up yet!